DEAR CARTER,

The Schwammkopf Scare

Dear Carter,

They canceled SpongeBob and it isn’t on Netflix. I want to watch it in German, but I can’t find any whole episodes. Help!

 

Hey reader! I hear your cries, I too have wanted to watch many shows on Netflix, only to find that they weren’t there. To find your oh so precious episodes of SpongeBob, one might suggest Hulu. And while that is a great option, it is a paid service and I strongly believe in sharing things for free. So I am going to point you towards this German website that I found. I believe that this suits all of your needs. Thank you for the question and have a dashing day!

 

Time Travesty

Dear Carter,

What time is it?

 

10:33

 

Project Prognosis

Dear Carter,

What are some ways to stay focused on one project and not start 50 at once?

 

Dear Reader, ideally in a perfect society, everyone could do what they wanted, and everyone would supply everyone else’s needs. However, that is not the case as of current. For now, these tips must suffice.

Unless you don’t have a choice to do the project, be selective. Choose to do something that will be enjoyable, and is reasonably accomplished. Find something that you know you will be enjoying when you are halfway through.  

Second, make a timeline, and figure out goals that you want to accomplish in steps. Don’t try to do everything at once, and don’t get overwhelmed by a lot of things that need to be done. Plan your actions before executing them.

Finally, commit to your goals, and don’t be a perfectionist. If you are caught up on something because it isn’t exactly how you envisioned it, work around what you have, or come back to it later. Don’t let one small thing deter you from your goals.

As a wise man once said, ‘In proportion therefore, as the repulsiveness of the work increases, the wage decreases’ Just do whatever feels fit that will give you enjoyment, and give it your best work without struggling. Thank you for the question, and have a paramount present.

 

Falling Philosophy

Dear Carter,  I have two questions. First, if you could be any type of dinosaur, what would you be? Second, how did Sherlock survive the fall?

Dear Reader, I am baffled at the thought that you were in such a mindset to be of the belief that you could submit two questions in one ‘answer’ on the form. However, I am not opposed to this, and like the way you impugned the system with that clever trick.

To answer your first question, a giraffatitan.

As for your second, I looked at all the details and evidence I could find, and came to this conclusion: Sherlock Holmes is actually a fictional character, and the fall that he suffered was just a plot point in the hit BBC television series Sherlock. There, in fact was no ‘fall’, and I am willing to bet that they had a crane with ropes and a harness attached to the actor who plays the protagonist in this television show.

However, to play into your silly game, I think that the TV show is just a hyper extended heroin high. I believe that the parts of the show where Benderdatch Cumberthacth is high in are set in reality, while the crime fighting hero is all a crazy trip.

Thank you for your question, and have an insane instant.

***

Hey all you curious minds, don’t forget to send in your questions. Whether it be about your cat or your garden or anything else, send them in.

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Article written by Carter Bearden, posted on January 31st, 2016.

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