Weekly Horoscopes

by Odessa Green

 

We’ve got a doozy this month! All the planets are in Direct Motion, spinning at the same rate as the Earth! Now let’s see what that has in store for all of you:

Aries:

Your warlike nature is in for a blast. On the other hand, fight after fight is tiring, so look for chances to rest. Take advantage of Mars’ closeness to Earth to go after something that matters to you and stab life in the gut until it gives you what you want! Fire yourself up for a bloody month!

Taurus:

You go girl! With Venus on your side it’s time for romance to spring anew in this new year. Stand above the peons like the love goddess you are! Don’t worry about failure, this week you’re irresistible. Now go get ‘em!

Gemini:

The planets spinning together means your dual nature is spinning together too. But this isn’t all good. Expect mood swings as much as aligned successes. You might be a pain to be around for those not used to such a dramatic nature. My suggestion: lock yourself in your room and wait out the week.

Cancer:

While you might be one big crab, you’ll be anything but crabby this week! Business success is coming your way. Grab that money and save it up, because the rest of this year doesn’t look so great for you in that respect. Now go out and lie your way into a raise!

Leo:

Roar you big beautiful beast! Then get quiet real quick. Your biggest ally Jupiter isn’t with you this week, so keep your head down. Don’t get into fights, don’t take on new projects, just keep your head in the sand and wait. Seriously, this is not a good week for you. Take it slow, take it easy, and don’t take any chances!

Virgo:

Oh my dear, I can’t wait to see what this week holds for you. So many options, so many choices, so many chances. Don’t waste your good luck, but beware bad luck too. Everything is in your favor, but that sometimes means The Stars are setting you up for a fall. Enjoy it while it lasts sweetheart!

Libra:

You are a righteous force, but not this week! Too many influences leave you stumped on what to do. Think you’ve got an course of action you can stick with? Think again, you’ll have a new course in like a day. Do you want love? Yes. Do you want money? Yes. Do you want justice? Of course you do! But you can’t get any of those this month, so just sit your butt down and meditate.

Scorpio:

Sting! Sting! Sting! You’re Aries’ main opponent this month so get ready for a fight. Aries’ will be hostile to you, sometimes even downright deadly! So arm yourself little scorpion, and hope The Stars have mercy on you when the warriors squash you under their heels.

Sagittarius:

You may not like to dwell on the past, but this week the past has come back with a vengeance. Will it bring good things or bad? The choice is up to you! Unresolved issues will be resolved one way or another, so try to find a happy ending. On the bright side, is you can get that over with quickly, there might be a bit of romance coming. Maybe.

Capricorn:

Have you ever heard the phrase “drama bomb”? Well that’s you this week, drama 24/7. You can try to cage the goat, but it just won’t work. Let your inner diva out and parrrrrrrrtay!

Aquarius:

You watery nymph you! Oozing beauty and charisma, all the planets are aligned just for you. Put on your best clothes and strut your stuff! Whatever you want is yours this week. All you have to do is reach out and take it. Cut the unworthy with your quick tongue and let your sassy walk do the rest.

Pisces:

Don’t. Just don’t do anything this week. Honestly I wouldn’t even risk breathing. Good luck, you’ll need it.

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