Dear Carter,

by Carter Bearden

Forgiving Familiar Faces

Dear Carter, how do I find my way to forgiveness towards someone who really hurt my feelings?

Dear Reader, forgiving someone who has wronged you is tough, but knowing that you want to forgive them is already on the path to forgiveness. In my experience, time is the greatest healer, but can also make things worse. I have a friend who I upset, and I just waited for him to forgive me. While he did forgive me after a couple of months, things were never really the same between us. I think that, had I confronted him about it earlier, things would have been much better between us.

Also, I think that empathy is a large part of forgiveness. Using the same example, I felt really bad about being rude to my friend, and I don’t think he realized that. He probably was in the mindset that I didn’t care about what I had done, and who would forgive someone if they thought the other person didn’t care? Look at the dispute from different perspectives and then gauge the situation.

In short, I would suggest talking to the person who hurt you, work everything out, and then slowly reconnect with each other. Thank you for the question, and have a fabulous future.

Hair Helper

Dear Carter, everyone at Skybridge is always cutting their hair into the most interesting shapes. What should I do with my do in order to stay heads and shoulders above the competition?

Some might say that appearance doesn’t matter. That it is the person behind the hair that matters. I say that is loser talk. Hair game is everything in the world of looks, and at Skybridge, hair is like a regular high school’s football. It is everything, and to have the best hair, you have to view what makes great hair great, and increase and build upon that.

Now you could say that length or color are the main components of hair, but we can go wider. What is the one thing that everyone does with their hair? They wear it in the third dimension. “Well yes,” you might say, “Hair does exist in the third dimension. What of i
t?” I am proposing that if you want to be as meta as ironic 2009 rage comic memes, and image00have the most outgoing hair, you need to style it in the fourth dimension. Now, don’t ask me how to do this, because I barely understand the fourth dimension, but I know that you are smart enough and talented enough to pull this off.

Also get rainbow frosted tips and spike your hair. This will put you at the top of the hair game. Thank you for your inquiry, and have a large length.

Dancing in Dismay

Dear Carter, The Valentine’s Dance is this week and I don’t have a date! Is it ok to attend a dance without a date? Will other kids make fun of me? Bonus Question: What is your favorite slow song?

Dear Reader, let me tell you a story. A story of a school dance. A whimsical non-fiction tale of my experience at the O’Henry MS dance.

The year was 2016. I was in the eighth grade, and my school was having a dance. All of my friends were going, so I decide to go too. The only problem? I was so unapproachably amazing that no girl asked me out. I hadn’t asked anyone to the dance because if I had, that would have shown that I was a filthy casual on level with every other person at the dance.

I showed up in my finest jeans and a t-shirt that I don’t remember having been washed since I had worn it last. I met up with my friends and had a pretty good time. And the only thing that people made fun of me for was my ballin’ haircut that they just didn’t get.image01

The moral of the story is that you shouldn’t have a haircut like 14 year old me. Also that no one will care if you show up alone. Just do what you are comfortable with doing, and don’t be influenced by others to do something that you don’t want to unless it’s vaccination.

As for my favorite slow song, it would have to be “We Three Trees” from The Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Thank you for the
question, and have a miraculous minute.

Piaggio Pigs

Dear Carter, why can’t pigs actually fly?

Dear Reader, You are not thinking big enough. Relative to earth pigs can’t fly, but relative to the sun, for instance, we are all flying. But of course, that begs the question: if everyone is flying, then is no one flying? I will leave you with that thought. Thank you for the question, and have a yelling year.

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